YOU BEGIN your journey on a real high note when you’ve been walking on what seems like a never ending walk through some really over grown trees in a terrifying forest with your own dark thoughts stuck in your head like SUPERGLU, you can’t get the thoughts out of your head, which was initially, the reason why you thought this walk would be a good idea.. to clear your mind and all that. It’s not working though is it?
This forest is SOOO scary, and muddy, and slippery, and you can hear the cackles of what sounds like a pointy nosed, evil, creepy witch, wearing a halloween hat, but it’s probably just a branch creaking in the wind.. Lucky for you, this forest very occasionally has some beautiful visionary spots like glistening bodies of water with nice trickling noises and some brightly coloured fish flapping their fins out and about in-between frogs and their frogspawn babies, and sometimes, just sometimes, when you look up above in this ominous forest, you can see a glimpse of the clear blue sky, saying hello to you but just for a second, a mere second.
Sometimes you can hear the birds singing their beautiful love songs to each other or a deer making a mating call for his glorious doe, but for the most of it, this walk is totally bleak, although, as mentioned earlier, this journey is beginning on a high note, so FINALLY!… You can actually see some moss on a tree which signifies you are facing North, or something like that, and we all know that following the moss to a Northern Point will get you out of this fucking mess and in to a means of safety. Anyway.. you escaped the forest and the forest escaped you so you can both get on with what you were doing..
After you leave the Forest you stumble upon a house , the house is Huge but not so huge as to be too intimidating - but it is Huge enough for you to build a life for yourself inside it. The colour and shape of the house is entirely up to you but it has a moat around it and a lone, proud horse, and a few chickens making clucking noises to their little chick babies. You’re allowed to decide the colour of the horse, but the chickens are generically beautiful and have quite a standard wing colour, so not much is left to your imagination.
WEIRDLY AND SUDDENLY! You strangely feel something sharp in your pocket so you stupidly reach in to the pocket and luckily nothing dangerous is in there, its just a key (to the house) so you walk on over and open the door. You eagerly jump right in to the house and open your eyes and when you open your eyes you are filled with such delight! This house has everything you’ve ever wanted, it has a big bath tub, and a fridge filled with all your favourite takeaway food and also food you like to cook like prawns, and lobster.. The TV is playing only the best episodes of your favourite TV shows aka The Simpsons and The Last Temptation of Homer is playing, the one where he falls in love with Mindy (played by Michelle Pfeiffer) and Bart becomes a Neeeerrrrdddd! “It’s a really great episode” you say to yourself out loud.
After finishing the episode, you go upstairs and pull back the silky curtains to look outside to see the beautiful surroundings, and to check up on the Horse and the Clucking chickens… To your horror, something really crazy has just happened, and at first you thought your new house was the only house in the surrounding area, but from out your bedroom window you notice that a few metres away is a new house, just as beautiful as your one, and you peer in to the house with your crystal blue eyes, and you see, just standing there, topless and ripped as f*ck, the hottest boy you’ve ever set your eyes on!!!You don’t know his name, so you have to come up with one… You decide on calling him the BOY NEXT DOOR, as that is exactly what he is..
So you’ve been staring at the BOY NEXT DOOR for quite some time now, and you actually think he might also be staring back at you, so you make up some totally irrational story in your head, where you make up a surname for him and put your name before his surname, and you imagine having loads of cool babies with him, and the things he will buy you for birthday gifts, and the way he will propose to you.. At first you want him to propose to you on the London Eye, but then you think that’s a bit cliche so decide that he’ll buy a blimp or small plane and write “Will you Marry me” on it, because to he honest that would be pretty cool, wouldn't it? WOAH! YOU ARE SO OBSESSED WITH THE BOY NEXT DOOR! YOU ARE GONNA GO OVER TO HIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND KISS HIS LIPS, LOADS!!! You reckon his lips are gonna be so soft, and he will kiss really passionately. Heavenly Bliss.
You get to his door and knock, but when you knock, your hand just goes through the wall, as if you were a ghost - what the hell?
Oh wait. His House was a mirage, your house was a mirage, they never existed, and neither did the BOY NEXT DOOR, he didn't exist either? They never do. This sucks…
This sucks so hard and now you’ve realised that all this time you’ve been stuck in your dead end lonely life and theres no forest, no house, no Last Temptation of Homer, the horse and those chickens were figures of your deepest imagination. There is Nothing.. Nothing but your wishful dreams and your really nice eyes. At least you have nice eyes.. but lets be honest, this is so not COOL.
In fact this is the least cool thing in the whole world, so you go off and run away from everything / semi hoping all your shit memories will come with you in the form of a fucking boy, to have a look at the SEA AT NIGHT. You like the Ocean, because Oceans go on forever, and there are loads of fish which are yet to be discovered.